I am not for equal rights.

There. I said it. Let the grandstanding, mudslinging, name-calling, et cetera, begin.

Specifically, I do not subscribe to this notion that women are equal to men.

Likewise, men are not equal to women.

If I asked any kid who had a basic grasp of mathematical principles what the word “equal” meant, he could probably explain to me something like “If A = B, then B must also equal A.” Or, A is the same as B. If we’re talking quantities, yes, that’s true. If Annie has 2 apples, and Billy has 2 bananas, then they have an equal number of pieces of fruit.

Are apples the same as bananas? They are fruit, but the similarities end there. Apples are roundish, smooth, usually kind of shiny, and they come in red or green. They crunch when you bite into them. Apples are juicy, and they have a core, and seeds. Bananas are yellow, shaped, well, bananas. Like the letter “C” that someone gave up on.  They’re smooth, but they don’t have the same feel as an apple. Bananas are soft and mushy, a preferred food for babies. There are no seeds inside and even their nutritional values are different from an apple’s.

With those in mind, are apples and bananas equal? There is no doubt that they are both valuable foods, and the world would be a darker place without them. They are both good, but no, they are not equal. Equal in value, perhaps, but in this case, A does not equal B.

So it is with men and women. Men and women have different characteristics. We are built for different things. Modern society would have us believe otherwise, but it’s true. Biologically, right down to our very genes, a man is different from a woman. In the labs, they call this “XY” and “XX”. Male chromosomes are labeled “XY”, female “XX”. When conception happens, no matter what, the mother’s ovum is delivering an “X” chromosome. The father’s sperm will deliver either an “X” or a “Y”, and in that way the sex of the baby is determined. Makes it more than slightly ironic, all those kings who blamed their queens for producing daughters, when it was their sperm that actually made the determination, isn’t it? It’s also why there’s no such thing as “transgendered” or a “sex change”. A man can cut off his penis and testicles and take estrogen, or a woman cut off her breasts and have a penis and testicles built and take testosterone, but there is no changing the genes. What one is born with, one will die with.

Look in the mirror, and take a picture of someone of the opposite sex with you. Doesn’t matter who, although one of a sibling may make these differences more pronounced, but it could be a magazine model. Start with the lines of the face. A man’s lines will be stronger, sharper, especially around the jaw. There may be the shadow of facial hair, the 5:00 shadow, or maybe it’s grown out to a mustache, beard, or goatee. Men generally have a stronger chin, a heavier brow. Society usually dictates that a man’s hair is much shorter, cut above the top of the ears. Women’s faces are softer, more gentle. The curve of the cheek is more rounded, the cheekbones, though visible, not as heavy as a man’s. There is often even a different look to the eyes. Nothing specific, just a notable difference. His eyes will say, “I am a man.” Hers will say, “I am a woman.”

It is not surprising then, that little girls are drawn to play house with dollies, and even lacking a realistic toy doll, will make one out of whatever is available. Laura Ingalls Wilder’s first doll, “Susan”, was a corncob. While they do, their brothers are more likely to be out running and roughhousing in the mud with games like “cops and robbers” and “cowboys and indians” or anything involving soldiers. At an early age, girls are more often drawn to music,  arts and crafts. They gravitate toward activities that are engaging mentally as well as physically – ballet, gymnastics, lyrical, jazz, tap, and modern dance. Boys gravitate toward team sports – football, soccer, baseball, lacrosse.

American classrooms have ignored these basic differences in males and females and made education a living hell for boys. They are expected to sit still, be quiet, and pay attention indoors for long periods of time. In other words, they are expected to act like girls. When they fidget, talk, and generally disrupt the class, they are punished. Even at recess, if they get an outdoor recess, they are discouraged from running, jumping climbing, and playing any of the make-believe games I mentioned above. Again, they are prevented from acting like boys. Modern playgrounds, in the name of accessibility and safety, are all but wrapped in lambs’ wool. There are no trees to climb or dirt to play in. There are no mud puddles to explore. We wonder why so many of our boys are “diagnosed” with ADD and ADHD.

I’m not saying little girls don’t like this, too, or that boys don’t like music and dance. Fathers, for the sake of your sons’ future wives, please understand that women find few things more attractive than a man who can tell one note from another and is able to make his way around the dance floor with a basic working knowledge of things like the waltz, Foxtrot, salsa, et cetera. I know highly respected women in the United States Army, Air Force, and Coast Guard who I would definitely choose first for my “Live Through the Zombie Apocalypse” team.

What I am saying is that men and women are different. In a culture that is so wrapped up in diversity, we have forgotten that one, extremely important difference. In the name of “equality”, we have forgotten “compliment”.

Men and women are not equal.

Men and women are two halves of a whole.

A yin and a yang.

The Rhett to her Scarlett.

The Leia to his Han.